I'm not sure what to write cause I have so many feelings!

My heart is in a lot of places today. I got the picture of mom's headstone and it's just.... well i can't describe it. A big mixture of gratitude and grief. We had a wonderful Sunday.. a family we are teaching came to church and they had such a great time and are really feeling the spirit. We were elated on Sunday. Yesterday we taught a man who has had such a broken life...so much bad and drugs and violence... he is so paranoid and he wants so much to change and be better. He bawled... We sang Be Still my Soul with him... I was the only one singing most of the time. I was feeling so much for him but I just couldn't cry and as I sang I have so much confidence in those words and that his soul really can have peace through the Atonement. He has a long way to go but I know it's possible. We had some other pretty heavy appointments yesterday so it was a heavy day. Thus is missionary work and life. It's like the weather sunny one minute and down pouring the next. That's how the weather was yesterday. I'm grateful for the consistency of the gospel no matter what circumstances may be. I am elated to hear Mel and Mike's little one made it safely and I am just thrilled at the idea of having such a little one to hold when I come home. I was amazed by a see through fish I saw yesterday. There are just so many cool things that have been created. I read a great talk by Elder Holland and he said that no one can promise heroic results for our efforts but we can all pledge to give a heroic effort. I liked that. He said that no one in the church or in heaven will ever expect more than your best from you.. so don't worry about being like others.. just be the best you. I read another quote that said, " Don't try to be different. Be good. Being good is different enough." that is true. I've met people on my mission who barely now what good is and it's amazing to see what effect coming to church and meeting so many good people has on them. I am so blessed to have had soooooooooooo much good. I still wonder why I've been so blessed sometimes but I have faith everything will be made right and that those who have had less will have everything made up for them. We had a really great week last week.. the members are getting a lot more involved and it's wonderful. It makes such a difference. Hey this is a weird random side note. The other night I woke up with this horrible charley horse in my calf... i almost woke my companion up but I made it through... anyway the next morning I saw a bruise there... I have never had one of those give me a bruise. I thought that was really weird. Anyway. I see and hear and feel and touch and smell so many things everyday. Being a missionary can sometimes be a sensory overload but I really love it and all the experiences we have. It's the best. I love you all so much and thank you again for all that you do and have done for me! This is a really all over the place email!


Love me